


October 5th

by better_times_are_coming



Series: if only [3]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Groom to be Seungcheol, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mild Sexual Content, Self Confidence Issues, Smut, Swearing, Wedding planner Jeonghan, implied/referenced eating disorder, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-02 06:00:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23846365
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/better_times_are_coming/pseuds/better_times_are_coming
Summary: The day after the wedding, Seungcheol deals with the consequences.
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi
Series: if only [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1331333
Comments: 14
Kudos: 135





	October 5th

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to read this, I advice you to read the first part of this series "Pinwheel" first. 
> 
> Since this follows right after Pinwheel's last chapter.
> 
> Enjoy!

Seungcheol wakes up with a start.

The smell of the pillow it’s faintly familiar, but not enough for him to figure out from where.

His eyes burn as he tries to blink awake, and his mind is working overtime, where is he?

Why does he feel like a truck just ran over him? 

He’s exhausted, limbs stiff as he raises his head and looks around the room. 

And _finally_ flashes of yesterday cross his mind.

Wedding getting canceled. Min-Young. Jeonghan. 

_Jeonghan_. 

This is Jeonghan’s apartment, Jeonghan’s _bed_. 

It’s dark, and it takes him a moment more to realize it’s because of the light canceling curtains at his right.

Right, must be morning. 

Late morning. 

There’s light sound coming from the living room, and Seungcheol properly starts to remember.

They had breakfast. The three of them (Joshua is kind of scary). Then Jeonghan said something about taking a shower… 

He sits up quickly, rubbing at his sore eyes again. The water’s not running and the only thing he can hear it’s the TV from the living room. 

He's still wearing the hoodie and shirt that Jeonghan had lent him. 

He’s in Jeonghan’s apartment, on Jeonghan’s _bed_ and wearing Jeonghan’s _clothes_. 

Oh God. 

He gets up in a hurry, not even bothering in fixing his hair and stumbles towards the living room, following the noise.

“Jeonghan, why didn’t you wake me up? I-” He stops on his tracks, a mortified expression on his face as his eyes meet _not_ -Jeonghan.

That’s Joshua. 

Jeonghan’s roommate. 

“Seungcheol.” He acknowledges, with a little nod. As if this isn’t awkward at all. Where is Jeonghan? Did he leave the apartment? Before he can ask though, Joshua speaks. 

“You must have been really exhausted.” Joshua comments, and Seungcheol finally recognizes the indistinct sound that had been coming from the TV. 

It’s an american sitcom. 

… 

Why does that even matter though? Damn, Seungcheol, just _focus._

 _Exhausted_? Yes, sure but why?

“You look disoriented yet.” Joshua adds, with a small knowing smile. He’s far too amused, and Seungcheol remembers _this_ is Jeonghan’s best friend. They both have the same teasing tone, the same amusing smile. _And_ Seungcheol isn’t _conscious_ enough to deal with this right now. “Jeonghan got a call, he got into the shower and when he got out, he tried to wake you, but you didn’t wake up.” 

“Jeonghan left?” Seungcheol asks, even though at the moment the words leave his mouth, he notices how _obvious_ his question is. 

He’s _really_ taking long in this whole waking up business, but it’s the best he’s slept in _months_. 

Usually he wakes up at the middle of the night, or he takes a long time to fall asleep, not today, today he- 

Joshua lets out a small laugh, amused at Seungcheol’s drowsy state. 

_You’re cute_ , he looks like he wants to say. Seungcheol knows because it’s the same expression Jeonghan wears when he's endeared.

"You really slept in, huh?" Joshua says nonchalantly and before Seungcheol can’t process that, Joshua’s eyes are already back at the TV. “Jeonghan told me not to wake you.” He explains, because Seungcheol’s expression must be screaming _why didn’t anyone wake me up?_

And why didn’t he set an alarm? He should have… 

“Ah, I should probably leave.” Seungcheol says, still somehow disoriented. He did remember telling Wonwoo to meet for lunch and it’s so late. Also he’s too shy to ask for Joshua to use the shower… “Thank you for…” 

He doesn’t know why. 

For not being weird about this, for not judging him, for letting him stay, for… 

“Thank you.” He says finally, picking up his phone. It’s off, but not dead, he had decided to plug it in during the night, but he was so afraid to leave it on, he isn’t ready to deal with all the calls he’s about to get. “Ah, wait, Joshua…” 

“Sorry… is it weird? If I ask you for… Jeonghan’s preferences on,” Joshua raises his eyebrow curiously and the teasing smile returns. Why would he even…? _Oh no_ , Seungcheol’s cheeks go red in embarrassment. He doesn’t mean Jeonghan’s preferences on _that_. “I just… don’t know what to get him for his birthday. I’d like to give him something.” 

Seungcheol’s words stumble from his mouth in a hurried pace, but Joshua only smiles at him, and it’s reassuring enough that Seungcheol slows down, letting a breath out. 

“I… I didn’t get Jeonghan anything besides cake.” Seungcheol mumbles sheepishly, trying to explain himself more. “Before… this whole thing happened, I wanted to… buy him something, to thank him for planning the wedding, I didn’t even know that it was his birthday. But now that I do… I just,” He trails off once again and then he sighs. “I’m not good with presents.” 

“You only gave him cake?” Joshua repeats slowly, gauging Seungcheol’s reaction apparently.

“Yeah…” Seungcheol mumbles, the incident from the day with the venues replaying in his head. _You’re so skinny, you should eat more_ , he had said and he wouldn’t lie, he had been mentally scolding himself ever since. You don’t comment on other people’s eating habits and weight, Seungcheol, that’s just rude! And you shouldn’t comment on other people’s appearance either! (until it’s phrased as a compliment maybe?). Yup. He'd like to think he's learned. 

Joshua’s gone silent and Seungcheol pulls himself out of his thoughts. 

He’s sure this pregnant pause means something but… would it be too terrible if he dares to ask?

“Is… there something wrong with that?” He awkwardly waves a hand as if to explain. 

Jeonghan, food, Jeonghan’s eating habits to be more precise. 

It’s just that… he’s not going to lie. 

He’s been curious about it ever since he noticed it, but he doesn’t want to press on it because he doesn’t want to make Jeonghan uncomfortable. 

From time to time he wonders though… why won’t Jeonghan eat when he’s clearly hungry? Is it an appearance thing? Is he sick? Maybe he’s picky. Or has allergies. 

Maybe all of the above. 

“Ah, _that_ , it’s just that he had this boyfriend once...” Joshua starts, sighing and stops midsentece when he catches himself, apparently noticing that maybe he shouldn’t have said anything. Seungcheol’s heart squeezes painfully on his chest, _he had this boyfriend once_? What’s that supposed to mean? 

When Seungcheol parts his lips to speak (he doesn’t even know if he’d rather know or not know?), Joshua’s previous soft and amused expression, turns somehow bitter. 

“I think you should leave.” He says, not unkindly, even though his features say otherwise. 

Seungcheol is suddenly afraid.

Not because that expression is directed at him… because it isn’t. 

Because _someone_ (Jeonghan’s previous boyfriend) made Joshua look _that_ mad, and Seungcheol -suddenly- _definitely_ doesn’t want to be that person in Jeonghan’s life.

Ever. 

Has his previous boyfriend hurt Jeonghan somehow? What did he do? What does he have to do with everything? 

“Seungcheol,” Joshua presses, gently. 

A reminder. 

He needs to leave.

He needs to leave _now_. 

He’ll have time to learn about Jeonghan, but not today, not without his consent. 

(Not like Joshua seems like the best friend who would spill anyway). 

“I’ll… just look for my things and then I’ll be out.” Seungcheol explains, albeit a bit awkwardly, waiting for Joshua’s nod to go back to Jeonghan’s room.

Today started with a weird encounter involving Jeonghan’s best friend, but somehow Seungcheol still feels thankful. Joshua must be a great friend, because even though Jeonghan is nowhere to be seen, he still has his back. 

Which reminds Seungcheol that he has one of his _own_ friends, probably waiting for him after being done with his shift. 

Seungcheol is lucky that Wonwoo won’t get mad at him for something like this.

As quickly as he can, he heads to Jeonghan’s room, picking up his phone, wallet, and his discarded hoodie. Jeonghan is tidy, and Seungcheol can’t say he’s surprised. He quickly makes the bed, willing to leave everything exactly as it was. 

He doesn’t want Jeonghan getting the impression that he’s messy (although he is). 

As he’s about to leave though, his eyes catch something familiar on Jeonghan’s night stand. 

Are those…? 

“Can’t believe he kept these,” He whispers to himself, his heart warming up at the idea. The lemon drops he once gave to Jeonghan _and_ the heat pack too. 

Oh God. 

He’s in too deep. 

He’s so happy and endeared and he likes him _so_ much. 

He just wants to see him. And maybe hug him and kiss him until he’s giggling in his arms. 

Oh, that’d be perfect. 

His cheeks have gone pink by the time he’s left the bedroom, and he bows at Joshua, getting ready to leave. 

“We’re celebrating his birthday today.” Joshua comments airily, just as Seungcheol turns towards the door. 

Seungcheol struggles to identify the intention behind Joshua’s phrase. Is he inviting him? Telling him they won’t be in the apartment in case he comes back?

Telling him that Jeonghan’s busy so he shouldn’t bother him?

There’s a beat of silence, and Seungcheol gives him a small smile. 

“I’ll give him some space.” Seungcheol says, not because he doesn’t want to see Jeonghan, it’s just that, he’ll be celebrating with his friends, right? He doesn’t want to intrude. 

Seungcheol has already barged his way into Jeonghan’s life.

He doesn’t want to overwhelm him. 

They’re not even properly dating. 

And if Joshua’s smile is anything to go by, his response probably satisfied him. 

“Thank you.” Seungcheol says, for the ninth time today, but he’s finding it a little more genuine every time. “Nice meeting you.”

He doesn’t wait for a response, fixing his clothes the best he can and heading outside, pulling out his phone to text Wonwoo. 

_I’m on my way_. 

(He ignores all the notifications about relatives asking him what has happened).

Truth is... 

Okay, he’s not going to lie, but as he keeps walking, rushing to exit the building, he just wishes Jeonghan’d have woken him up.

He wanted to see him one last time before everything would explode on his face today.

_will you kiss me tomorrow?_

Phone on his hand, he considers calling him. 

_how are you, why didn’t you wake me up, i miss you, did you have any second thoughts, it was nice waking up next to you_

He squeezes until his knuckles turn white, until he’s long gone from Jeonghan’s building. 

His heart is doing somersaults again and he tries to breathe. 

He remembers Jeonghan’s teary eyed face when he confessed, how conflicted he looked over the prospect of cancelling the wedding, how beautiful he looked on top of him, teasing, playful smile on his lips whenever Seungcheol kissed the corner of his mouth. 

How his cheeks tinged red, his hands trembling, his breath shaky, as if no one had _ever_ touched him, kissed him, loved him like this. 

Seungcheol considers calling Jeonghan again.

_please promise me you won’t change your mind_

In the end, he doesn’t. 

***

“Man, you really look like shit.” 

Seungcheol suppresses a sigh. 

He _knows_. 

Of course he looks like shit, he just got over the worst night of his life. 

(Yes, this might have brought the best outcome of his life? So he won’t complain yet.)

“I’m glad to see you too.” Seungcheol says, but instead of a reply, he gets a concerned look from Wonwoo. He recognizes it already, since it’s been the same he’s receiving from his friends lately (ever since he got engaged maybe?). 

When Wonwoo’s worried expression doesn’t falter, Seungcheol gives him an apologetic smile instead, reaching out to pat his shoulder. 

“I’m sorry… I just… had a rough night.” He says instead, because usually he doesn’t let his friends worry. Not because he’s the eldest in the group or anything, just because… he always thinks he can handle it on his own.

Or at least that’s what he thought until recently. 

Until he noticed how _helpless_ he actually was. 

When he found himself in front of Min-Young’s hotel door. 

All alone.

Of course, Jihoon and Soonyoung and Jeonghan were right downstairs, but… 

He had brought this on himself and now he had to be a big boy and deal with the consequences, without his friends’ help. 

However… seeing Wonwoo right here, ready to comfort him if he cried, to tease him if he needed to cheer up. 

It was enough of a reminder to Seungcheol that even though he had fucked up, _badly,_ he still had his friends. 

“That you did.” Wonwoo concedes, pulling him out of his thoughts as he pats his shoulder with a sympathetic expression. 

Seungcheol tries to suppress a sigh. 

Wonwoo has _just_ gotten out of a twenty four hour shift, but somehow he looks better than Seungcheol. 

And Seungcheol isn’t even joking about that. When he had looked himself in the mirror for a whole minute during the morning, he had noticed how unkempt his hair and clothes were, how dark the circles under his eyes were too and lastly, how his skin sported a worrying shade of green instead of the usual pink. 

Sleep deprived was an understatement.

“Whose clothes are you wearing, hyung?” Wonwoo asks, interrupting Seungcheol’s thoughts. 

Seungcheol took a deep breath, bracing himself to tell the whole story. 

Jihoon and Soonyoung caught the most of it because they accompanied Seungcheol to _The Plaza_ yesterday, but Wonwoo and Mingyu… they only know the wedding got cancelled.

Nothing more. 

Oh, this is going to be messy. 

Really messy. 

“Long story, Wonwoo.” He admits, with a sigh. “Let’s settle down first, yeah?” 

***

“It was so… magical.” 

Wonwoo rests his chin on his palm as he listens, eyes fixed on Seungcheol’s. 

They had arrived to the restaurant almost forty minutes ago, and Seungcheol had been talking nonstop, explaining to Wonwoo what had happened before the wedding. 

Seungcheol just couldn’t help himself. 

He had been talking about Jeonghan to his friends, mostly because they spent so much time together and he wanted everyone to know his _wedding adventures_ , but now it was different. 

After they confessed to each other, it was like he could finally _convey_ the admiration he felt for Jeonghan. 

How endeared he actually was, (is), probably always be. 

“It was like the scene of a movie.” Seungcheol explains, playing with the straw of the grape juice he ordered. He would have bought an iced americano, but Wonwoo didn’t let him, said he already looks like _he’s high on something_ (no offense) _._

Wonwoo hums in thought, taking all the information in and Seungcheol’s expression suddenly turns sour, smile dropping. 

“I’m just… I wished that Min wouldn’t have been involved in this mess.” Seungcheol admits, running a hand through his hair. “When I talked to her… she didn’t even seem mad, I don’t think she was. She was upset about how the whole thing went down. She asked me if I really meant it when I asked her to marry me.” 

Wonwoo wants to ask _did you_ , but it seems like that would only add more to Seungcheol’s troubled mind. 

So he stays silent. 

“She wasn’t mad. She… didn’t think that we got engaged the right way either.” Seungcheol whispers, eyes glazing over, looking more exhausted than ever. “But… she asked me if I’ve ever loved her. And I did, Won. I swear I did, but I just…” 

_I just started to like Jeonghan_ , Seungcheol doesn’t add. 

“You’re lucky.” 

“I know.” 

“She could have-” 

_yelled at me, made a scene_

_resented me_

But she didn’t. 

She doesn’t.

And the guilt is eating Seungcheol alive. 

“I know.” Seungcheol repeats, more firmly. “But she didn’t do those things. She stayed and listened and understood.” 

Both of them stare down at their empty plates. 

There’s light chatter around them, but suddenly Wonwoo can’t see anything that’s not Seungcheol’s prominent eye bags and shaky hands. 

“We talked for hours, Won.” Seungcheol explains, interrupting Wonwoo’s thoughts. “We cried and we held each other and I don’t know. I was… so thankful. Did I even… deserve that?” 

Wonwoo doesn’t know. 

He thinks not, but he also knows that Seungcheol _knows_ that he didn’t deserve so much kindness. 

“I think… she was freeing me, and I was doing the same for her.” Seungcheol whispers. “She’s the best, you know? She deserves someone who can treat her right.” 

“You do too.” Wonwoo adds. 

“Huh?”

“You do too, hyung. Deserve someone who treats you right.” 

Min already did.

Treat him right.

But what is it about Yoon Jeonghan? 

Why can’t he stop thinking about him?

It goes deeper than any relationship he ever had, with anyone. Something just _clicked_ when he confessed.

Everything fell into place. 

If the stars align and the fireworks with the first kiss are real then- 

Then he fell in love with Yoon Jeonghan. 

“Hyung?”

“What?”

“You… zoomed out. For like two minutes. You okay?” 

“I…” Seungcheol nods to himself, trying to gather his thoughts. “I don’t think I’ve ever liked someone the way I like Jeonghan.” He admits.

Wonwoo parts his lips, as if he wants to say something. 

“And it’s so scary, Wonwoo-yah.” Seungcheol adds, softly. 

The reality of the situation seems to catch up on Seungcheol again.

It has been a rollercoaster since Seungcheol got engaged and now they’re nearing the end. 

How will this end?

“It is, hyung.” Wonwoo agrees, reaching out to place his hand over Seungcheol’s, hoping to comfort him. “Loving someone is the scariest thing.” 

By the way Seungcheol’s smile turns sad, Wonwoo knows he agrees. 

***

Seungcheol is climbing the first steps to his building when he feels his phone vibrating on his pocket. 

His heart skips a beat at the caller. 

Oh my God. 

“Jeonghan,” He says, breathlessly, fumbling a bit with the phone as he tries to pick up as fast as he can. 

He missed him.

He knows it’s silly, because they got separated only a few hours ago, but he _missed him_. 

“Jeonghan,” He repeats, just because, a smile forming on his lips. 

Amazing how can he improve his mood. 

“Had to make some damage control.” Jeonghan explains before Seungcheol asks, and he sounds breathless, and it makes Seungcheol remember the first time he talked to him. 

Seungcheol’s smile fades a little, remembering all the wedding preparations.

Jeonghan must be devastated to call all of this off. 

He hopes the impact on Jeonghan’s image as a wedding planner doesn’t get affected by this. 

“Don’t worry, it went well.” Jeonghan adds, as if he knows what Seungcheol is thinking. 

Seungcheol smiles a little.

His heart feels at ease knowing Jeonghan is okay. 

“Cheol, where are you?"

It’s almost five pm. 

Lunch ended late. 

“Um… I’m almost home.” He answers, catching _music_ coming from the other side of the line.

Joshua had said they’d celebrate Jeonghan’s birthday today. 

Is Jeonghan at a party right now?

This early? 

“Oh,” Seungcheol can’t really see Jeonghan, but somehow he knows he has stopped smiling, and Seungcheol tries not to feel guilty. Something he did must have made Jeonghan upset. “So, are you coming or not?”

Wait.

So he _was_ being invited to the birthday party? He should have asked for a clarification when he spoke to Joshua. 

“I thought… Joshua had invited you over.” Jeonghan’s voice turns to a whisper, and even though the music only gets louder, Seungcheol doesn’t miss the disappointment on Jeonghan’s tone. 

“Oh,” Seungcheol doesn’t want to throw Jeonghan’s roommate under the bus. “I, well… I thought that you’d want to spend this with your friends, I wouldn’t want to intervene.” 

He has meddled enough with Jeonghan’s life… 

The least he could do it’s give him some time off of all this drama. 

“You wouldn’t have,” Jeonghan says, and Seungcheol tries not to overthink this. Even if Joshua would have openly invited him, he still doesn’t think he should go. He feels so guilty and he’s on a sullen mood. 

Besides it’d be wildly inappropriate, right?

Going to a party after cancelling his wedding. 

He just… wants to be available just in case Min wants to talk. 

He wants to see Jeonghan too, he has been thinking about him all day, but… if it means interrupting his birthday party, he won’t. 

“Maybe I wouldn’t have,” Seungcheol agrees, unease creeping up on him, Jeonghan sounds disappointed and Seungcheol really doesn’t want to make him upset on his own birthday party. What kind of an asshole does that? “But, but you really deserve this, Jeonghan. I’m… I’d spoil the whole thing, I’m sure.” 

He’s met with silence at the other side of the line.

He can’t even hear the damn music.

Shit. 

Did he make Jeonghan cry?

He wouldn’t forgive himself if he did. 

“I understand,” Jeonghan says, voice low. 

Seungcheol’s heart drops. 

He fucked up, he really did. 

“Are you mad?” 

“I’m not.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah,” Jeonghan assures him, sounding like himself, enough to calm Seungcheol’s rapid beating heart. “You can… come over to my place when the party’s done.” 

The offers hangs in the air, and Seungcheol tries not to gulp, his throat suddenly dry. 

_will you kiss me tomorrow_

They hadn’t… they didn’t really kiss today.

“Seungcheol?” 

“Yeah,” Seungcheol blurts out, picturing Jeonghan’s flushed cheeks, how warm he felt against him, how shy he looked whenever Seungcheol kissed the corner of his mouth.

Anticipation twists on his belly.

He’s in deep. 

“I’d like that a lot.” He murmurs, but Jeonghan still hears him, saying goodbye with a small _I’ll text you when I get home then_.

When Seungcheol hangs up, there’s a warmth feeling on his chest that wasn’t there before. 

He’s _so_ in deep. 

***

Seungcheol pockets his phone as he unlocks his apartment, thinking about what to do until tonight. 

There’s a few things on his mind already, calling Jihoon, maybe _eat_ something too, take a shower and charge up his phone. 

He’d have to decide up on an outfit as well. 

Maybe- 

As he opens the door, he’s greeted with an unusual sight. 

His _parents_ are sitting on his couch. 

Seungcheol knows the house technically belongs to them, but they had never _ever_ visited before, so of course this comes as a shock. 

The knot has already started to form on his throat as he closes the door behind him.

The silence is eerie. 

He knows what’s coming, and maybe he should start first, he’ll have the upper hand if he does. 

“I’m really-”

“What were you thinking, Seungcheol?” His father stern’s voice interrupts him mid-sentence and Seungcheol closes his mouth.

He won’t apologize for the wedding.

Maybe he should, but he won’t.

His relationship with Min was going just fine and then their parents decided to intervene, ruining it everything. 

Now everything got even more complicated for Seungcheol, but that’s on him. 

He can’t dwell on _ifs_ when he already made a decision.

“The least we expect from you right now is an apology, Seungcheol.” This time it’s his mother, and Seungcheol tries not to sigh.

They both look like these mean rich parents on TV dramas, and _hey_ , maybe they are. 

Seungcheol braces himself. 

Talking to his parents like this, it always takes a toll on him. 

So much has going on in these past few days, and Seungcheol is still upset, he’s ready to snap. 

And this is the last push. 

“I said I was sorry to Min, because I owed _her_ an apology. Not you two.” 

His hold on his keys is so tight, it makes pain flare up on his palm.

He ignores it.

He’s _so_ tired. 

“Didn’t you think how would you make us look?” His father’s voice is firm, Seungcheol has always been a little intimidated by him, especially as a child. Right now though, he feels nothing. “You don’t care about the company.” 

Seungcheol looks down, thinking of work, on how much he hates going there. 

How he was actually happy to leave early when they had to make wedding preparations. 

(Not just because he liked Jeonghan). 

“I think I don’t.” He mumbles. 

“What did you just say?” His father asks, clearly offended, because he’s sure he must have heard but he can’t believe it. 

He wants the confirmation.

Seungcheol looks up.

“That I don’t think I care about the company,” He repeats, tone firm and clear.

His mother gasps. 

It’s tense.

Something within him is about to snap.

Any second now.

It’s been years. 

He’s wanted to say this for years. 

“You don’t mean that.” His father says. 

“I do.” 

“You’ve become such a-” 

“A _what?_ ” 

And just like that the mood shifts.

 _Shit_. 

Is Seungcheol really doing this right now?

Fear and sadness and insecurity wash over him and he tries not to flinch. 

Seungcheol’s eyes glaze over.

And he feels like crying.

But he won’t. 

He can’t.

If he does, his parents win. 

“A failure.” His father ends. 

....

Okay. 

He’s not wrong, is he? 

Seungcheol _is_. 

And that’s enough. 

_enough, enough, enough_

“Yeah, not like I didn’t know that.” Seungcheol snaps, something ugly twisting on his belly. He wishes his words could be more hurtful. “I fucking _hate_ myself right now. Are you happy?” The scream echoes in the room and Seungcheol feels like he’s going mad.

All the insanity from yesterday and today finally catching up on him. 

He didn’t even _want_ to get married, he was _pushed_ , but he still said yes, if he hadn’t gone to _that_ dinner with his parents and Min’s parents, maybe he’d have been okay. 

Maybe things wouldn’t have turned out this shitty for him. For everyone.

 _Maybe_ he’d have meet Jeonghan at a party, through a mutual friend, maybe he and Min would have parted ways naturally. 

He doesn’t know. 

Because he _couldn’t_ do that. 

“I hate this job, and I-I hate this _person_ I’ve become because of it. I’m so bored, I’ve got absolutely nothing I’m passionate about.” Flashes of Jeonghan animatedly talking about _napkins_ and _wedding invitations_ flood Seungcheol’s mind and he wills away how jealous he felt, how envious. 

He _wants_ that too. 

He wants the same passion for music that managed to join Soonyoung and Jihoon. 

He craves for something like that.

“And yeah, it’s not your fault, it’s mine too.” Seungcheol got too comfortable, a house, a job, money. “But I’m so _mad_.” 

“This is your own fault.” His mother says, and it _hurts_. Even now, they’re not even listening to him. “We asked you for _one_ thing, and you do this, we’re disappointed in you.” 

Seungcheol wants to punch something, wants to scream. 

Why won’t they _listen_ to him?

“You tried to fix my life since I was learning how to walk and _now_ I’ve disappointed you?”

How rich coming from them! 

He should have never been their heir. 

He never met their expectations. 

“Well, I’m _sorry_.” Seungcheol’s voice broke. No crying, no crying, _please_ , don’t cry and make it worse for yourself. “I’m sorry for being such a mess.” 

His parents are quiet and Seungcheol heaves a breath.

He feels he’s about to pass out as he tries to pick up his bag, he even sways, and his father instinctively reaches out to support him, but Seungcheol pushes him away. 

“I’m quitting.” He whispers.

It’s obvious.

He’s wanted to say this for years now. 

And it should be obvious _now_ , but he wants to say it. 

“If this is about your _friend_ , Seungcheol, then-” 

“ _Don’t_.” Seungcheol says, all the exhaustion draining from his bones at the mention of Jeonghan's name.

This is _his_ mistake as his only. 

He was the one who called off the wedding, it isn’t Jeonghan’s fault. 

He doesn’t want them to drag Jeonghan as well. 

Seungcheol doesn’t even _know_ how they know about Jeonghan. 

Spots appear on his vision and he blinks, trying to stay calm. He needs to sit down, but he needs to _leave_ , he can’t be here right now. 

His parents are not done with him yet though. 

“You ruined this for us, Seungcheol.” 

Right. 

“I did.” Seungcheol agrees. 

Because it’s true, because it’ll always be about his parents and the company, but never about _him_. 

“How are we going to deal with this now? What will people say?” 

_That’s fucked up_ , a part of his brain (probably the most realistic one) provides. 

“That I fucked up.” 

His responses only manage to make his parents even madder and Seungcheol runs a hand through his hair, it’s damp with sweat. 

He feels like he’s going to be sick, any moment now. 

“Why couldn’t you just marry her and be normal about this?” His father asks. “Why couldn’t you make your family proud?” 

“I decided this _now_ , because the consequences would be worse later.” Seungcheol explains. Because he’s _tired_ of people assuming that he didn’t think this through.

He did. 

For weeks. 

He had to try not to feel anything for Jeonghan and then pretend to be okay when he came back to Min.

Every fucking night. For _weeks_. 

He did think it through. He just wasn’t brave enough to do anything before. 

He wished he had, but it’s _so_ late now! What else can he do?

“There wouldn’t _be_ any consequences if you just did what we told you.” 

“What? You wanted me to marry her even though I wasn’t sure about it?” Seungcheol asks, disbelieving. “Wanted me to lie to her all my life?” 

And by his parents’ expressions, that’s _exactly_ what they wanted. 

Seungcheol can’t take this anymore. 

So he picks up his bag and heads to his room, pulls out a case and starts filling it with his clothes. 

He needs to leave. 

He places his favorite items of clothing, his phone charger, the few printed out photos he has on his nightstand and that’s it, he closes the case, picks up his bag. 

His hands are shaking. 

He’s sure he’s forgetting all of the most important items, but he doesn’t care, he wants to leave and he wants to leave _fast_. 

“Don’t bother to come back.” His father says, and Seungcheol doesn’t need the reminder.

He won’t. 

The slam on the door only grants him a bit of satisfaction, and as soon as he’s out. 

He breaks down. 

***

Seungcheol stands outside his apartment complex, a swirl of emotions coursing through his body. 

He feels so relieved, and burdened at the same time. 

He has lost his parents’ support, his job, his apartment, his fiancé (well, he hopes he doesn’t lose her completely). 

He’s gained… a chance to be happy. 

A chance to be happy with Jeonghan.

A chance to find something he’s passionate about. 

He smiles. 

There are tears streaming down his cheeks (he must look weird, smiling as he cries), and he drops his bag, pulling out his phone. 

He knows the number by heart, and there’s something comforting about typing it, instead of searching for the contact. 

Familiarity. 

As soon as he picks up, Seungcheol is sure he’ll cry even more… he just knows. 

“Hi.” 

“Cheol.”

Jihoon’s calm voice brings him comfort, and he cleans the tears with his sleeve, sniffling. 

“I… I’m sorry, Jihoonie.” 

A beat of silence. 

“Where are you?” 

“I’m _such_ a fuck up,” Seungcheol doesn’t reply, trying to breathe in. He knows there’s no one around, but still. He feels so vulnerable. 

His cheeks are red from embarrassment, but he has nowhere to be right now. 

He can’t hide anywhere. 

“Who hurt you?” Jihoon’s voice goes soft, but there’s an edge of dangerousness in it.

Seungcheol tries to make up his mind, a lot happened.

He doesn’t have a job. 

He doesn’t have a _house_. 

“I… I just came home and my parents-” 

“I’ll kick their asses.” Jihoon deadpans. 

It manages to make him laugh, endeared by how protective Jihoon is. 

“I should have listened to you, I should have thought this through, you asked me a lot if I wanted to do this and I said yes, but I… I didn’t… I’m sorry, I’m such an idiot…” 

“You are.” Jihoon says with a sigh. “But you don’t get to say it, you don’t get to _think_ about you that way, okay?”

“Jihoonie…” 

He thinks about Min, about Wonwoo and now Jihoon. 

All of them being so _kind_ with him, even though he deserves none of it. 

“You chose what you thought was best for you. I can’t get mad at you because of that.” Jihoon says, sounding pretty convincing. 

Seungcheol takes it. 

Wonwoo’s words are stuck in his head.

_deserve someone who treats you right_

Maybe he should be kinder to himself, even if it’s just for a moment.

“So…” Seungcheol sniffles one more time, ignoring the _use a tissue, don’t be gross_ coming from Jihoon. It makes him smile too, knowing that Jihoon has his back.

He already feels so much better, thoughts clearer. His best friend is really something.

“Can I crash at your place for a while?” 

Jihoon only sighs. 

Seungcheol tries not to smile, because he knows what’s coming. 

“You don’t even have to ask, hyung.” 

***

His phone chirps, and Seungcheol already knows it’s a text from Jeonghan.

Doesn’t know _how,_ but he knows. 

_I’m back home_. 

It’s almost eleven. 

Seungcheol is actually surprised. 

When Jeonghan told him he’d text him once the party was over, he thought that he’d get a text at like three am or something.

But it’s so early.

Seungcheol wonders if Jeonghan is as exhausted as him, and that’s why he called it a night so early.

“Hyung?” 

Soonyoung is staring him from the couch and Seungcheol finally snaps out of it. 

He had arrived at the couple’s house only a few hours ago, his case still unpacked on their guest room. 

“What is it?” He asks and Seungcheol chews on his lower lip, suddenly nervous about meeting with Jeonghan. If he thinks about it, the last time he saw him was like twelve hours ago, but why does it feel like a lot? “Is it about Jeonghan?” 

Seungcheol nods. 

“Yeah, his birthday is over… he asked me if I wanted to come to his apartment after and I said yes.” 

“You two don’t waste any time, huh?” Soonyoung teases, causing Seungcheol’s cheeks to warm up.

It’s not like he hadn’t thought about implications, it’s just that… 

“It’s not like that.” Seungcheol assures him, dropping his phone back at the couch after sending a _I’ll be there soon_ text to Jeonghan. “We’re just… going to talk I guess.” 

Although Jeonghan just invited him over. 

He didn’t even ask why. 

Seungcheol decides that dealing with Soonyoung’s teasing is going to make him even more nervous, so he heads to the guest room, finding Jihoon on the way. 

He’s wearing an oversized hoodie, looking tinier than usual. 

“Jihoonie.” 

“Mm?” Jihoon was on the middle of an afternoon nap when Seungcheol called before, and now he seemed to have been working on the little studio he had at home.

Seungcheol had decided not to interrupt him with all of his Jeonghan drama. 

“Can I borrow your shower?” He asks, he will _not_ be going to Jeonghan’s house after looking like a truck had run him over. “And um, you think Soonyoung would mind if I take some of his clothes?"

There's no way Jihoon’s would fit him. 

Ever. 

“I told you to make yourself at home,” Jihoon reminds him, with a small pat on Seungcheol’s arm. “You don’t have to ask.” 

Seungcheol’s heart skips a beat at how sweet his friend is.

He’s about to thank him when Jihoon speaks again. 

“Well, maybe for Soonyoung’s clothes,” Jihoon ponders, frowning a little. “But I’m sure he’ll be okay with it, just don’t borrow anything with a tiger on it, he loves that stuff.” 

Seems fair. 

“Thank you again, Jihoon.” 

And off he goes. 

He does the whole thing, without taking too long (he doesn’t want to keep Jeonghan waiting), he showers, gets dresses, even manages to do skin care and goes through his friends’ closest until he finds some ripped jeans that look like they’ll fit. Luckily he has his favorite green and black striped shirt, so he’ll be okay with that. 

He’s ready to leave in thirty minutes, looking pretty decent after all that has happened today. 

He finally feels like a _person_ again. 

His head clear for the first time today. 

When he comes back to the living room, Jihoon and Soonyoung are there. 

Soonyoung with his eyes glued to the TV and Jihoon playing something on his phone. 

He shyly approaches to the mirror, feeling self-conscious all of the sudden. 

Jeonghan is _so_ effortlessly beautiful and Seungcheol just… 

“How do I look?” He asks, nervously. These pants are way too tight and he should have grabbed another pair of jeans, but he didn’t do it. He turns around, hands on his hips, feeling self-conscious when he notices how they clung to his thighs and ass. 

Maybe he should change- 

“I’d tap that.” Soonyoung comments, from his perch on the couch.

Seungcheol’s cheeks go red. 

“Soonyoung, please shut up.” Jihoon whispers, with a sigh. 

“Aw, are you jealous?” 

“He’s not,” Seungcheol answers instead, picking up his phone. “I’m harmless.” 

“That you are.” Jihoon agrees. “You look good. Just go. Don’t forget your key.” 

“Won’t.” Seungcheol assures them, picking up his phone. “Thank you!” 

“I’ll wait up!” Soonyoung sing-songs, with a teasing tone, just as Seungcheol is about to leave.

The thought of things going _too_ well with Jeonghan clouds Seungcheol’s thoughts for a moment, and he freezes, right by the door.

What if they… _do_ something… what if-

“Don’t overthink.” Jihoon reminds him, as if he knows what’s going on inside Seungcheol’s mind (maybe he does know). “Just go.” 

Seungcheol braces himself.

Takes a deep breath in.

And leaves.

***

As Seungcheol finds himself in front of Jeonghan and Joshua’s apartment, his heart starts doing somersaults again.

He’s _so_ nervous. 

There’s a lot he wants to say, he wants to do.

He wishes that he could wipe off everything bad that has happened and that they’d get a fresh start. 

He wishes that- 

“Hi,” The door opens without Seungcheol having knocked on it, and Jeonghan appears, smiling a him.

Seungcheol’s throat goes dry. 

His hair is damp, and for all that Seungcheol dressed up, Jeonghan is only wearing some skinny jeans and an oversized pink t-shirt.

Jeonghan looks so soft, so different from the work attires that Seungcheol usually saw on him. 

“Seungcheol?” Jeonghan asks, when he doesn’t react. 

“Oh, sorry, I just-” _you left me speechless_ , he wants to say, but it’d be so cheesy, so he stops himself. He doesn’t want to make a fool of himself in front of Jeonghan. 

Jeonghan laughs a little, the sound managing to soothe Seungcheol’s troubled heart. 

And if Jeonghan catches on some of Seungcheol’s embarrassing thoughts, he doesn’t comment on it. 

_Thank God_.

“It’s okay. I was just wondering why wouldn’t you knock.” Jeonghan responds and opens the door, letting him in. 

As soon as Seungcheol steps inside, he sighs in relief. 

Okay.

It’ll be okay. 

Jeonghan’s place. 

He has been before. 

He can’t really hear Jeonghan’s roommate though, and he faintly wonders if-

“Shua… just left my party with his new boyfriend, I guess.” Jeonghan explains, and Seungcheol turns again, mouth slightly agape. Does that mean… “He wanted to go back with me, but I told him we’d be okay here on our own.” 

Seungcheol must be dreaming.

There’s the faint smell of Jeonghan’s shampoo and how _warm_ his cheeks look, how his skin is glowing after the shower. 

It must be a dream, like the one he had once. 

His heart is beating so fast, and Seungcheol should close his mouth, but he can’t. 

Is this even real? 

Is this actually happening?

Jeonghan really wanted them to have the apartment to themselves? 

Then what does that- 

“We’ll be okay,” Jeonghan whispers, his smile flirtatious, voice enticing. 

Seungcheol’s heart skips a beat. 

“Won’t we?”

***

Everything is a blur as they move to the living room. 

Seungcheol almost stumbles as he gently reaches out for Jeonghan’s wrist, the simple touch causing electricity to course through his veins. 

He’s never felt like this before. 

He’s never wanted anyone the same way he wants Jeonghan. 

_loving someone it’s the scariest thing_

Seungcheol is sure Jeonghan just offered something to drink, but Seungcheol only pulls until Jeonghan gets the hint and stills. 

They look at each other. 

There’s a lot unsaid between them. 

Seungcheol starts with the first thing. 

“I really wanted to get you a birthday present, Jeonghan.” And it feels stupid to say it out loud, to worry about this, but he can’t help himself. He had really wanted to, but after his parents… he lost all motivation. “A lot happened and I just couldn’t-” 

“It’s okay.” 

“It’s _not_ ,” Seungcheol says, with a bit of a whine. “I just… wanted to thank you. I know you worked hard on the wedding, and you helped me a lot. You were… a really good friend.” 

There’s a beat of silence. 

Seungcheol’s palm is sweaty, but Jeonghan doesn’t comment on it, just lets him hold him. 

Jeonghan doesn’t look like he’s going anywhere, but Seungcheol needs to have him close.

It’s the only thing that keeping him sane right now. 

“It’s okay, Seungcheol.” Jeonghan repeats. “You don’t have to worry about any of that now.” 

Seungcheol keeps his eyes on the floor, to ashamed to look up. 

They’re together. 

They’re alone. 

Seungcheol isn’t with Min anymore.

Then why is he so conflicted?

What’s with the bitter taste on his mouth? 

“I mean it,” Jeonghan steps closer to him, his leg almost placing in between his and Seungcheol almost gasps at the realization, but then Jeonghan’s hand is on his cheek, forcing him to look up. 

Seungcheol does. 

There’s two points of contact and Seungcheol reflexively tightens the hold on Jeonghan’s wrist. 

Jeonghan’s so close that his warm breath tickles Seungcheol’s lips. 

Oh.

He’s… 

He can’t even- 

Seungcheol licks his lips and swallows, his throat suddenly dry again. 

Jeonghan is so beautiful, and he likes him. 

Seungcheol might stop overthinking forever if he has Jeonghan to pull him out of it. 

Feeling brave, Seungcheol leans in, placing his free hand on Jeonghan’s slim waist and he presses a kiss on his cheek. 

Then his temple and his nose. 

The touch is gentle, innocent, but they’re pressing almost everywhere. 

Warmth pools deep on Seungcheol’s belly when Jeonghan’s breath stutters. 

“ _Seungcheol_.”

He’s not sure how, but in a matter of seconds they’re on the couch, Jeonghan has taken a hold of his wrist instead and he pulls him close. 

Seungcheol falls next to Jeonghan, a loud thud resonating in the silent apartment. 

Their first kiss.

It goes unsaid.

Both of them want it to happen. 

Seungcheol can see it on Jeonghan’s eyes. The way he leans closer, the way his touch lingers on him. 

As soon as Seungcheol places his thumb and forefinger on Jeonghan’s chin though, the blond bites on his lower lip, closing his eyes. 

_Shy_. 

Seungcheol is endeared. 

He can’t help but to smile, and he reaches out to press more kisses against warm skin, relishing in how quickly Jeonghan’s breathing has gone heavy. 

It’s awkward in their positions, but Seungcheol doesn’t want to break the moment, doesn’t want to suggest something more if Jeonghan doesn’t want to… 

But then Jeonghan pulls back, and Seungcheol quickly wonders if he did something wrong, when Jeonghan shifts to one side of the couch, leaning against the armrest, and invites Seungcheol in again. 

Seungcheol’s brain short circuits. 

Jeonghan looks so submissive like this. 

There’s a voice that tells him that this is going too fast, but Seungcheol ignores it, his eyes glued to Jeonghan’s glossy soft lips. 

“We have done this much already,” Seungcheol whispers, surprised at how _rough_ his voice sounds, and Jeonghan nods. 

Seungcheol hovers over him, placing a hand against the armrest and one of his legs between Jeonghan’s. 

He doesn’t want to crush him under his weight. 

They’re _so_ close. 

Seungcheol can feel his heartbeat drumming on his ears. 

_this is really happening_

Jeonghan’s hand reaches out, cupping his cheek again and it’s the last push Seungcheol needs. 

They meet each other halfway. 

Jeonghan lets out a surprised noise as soon as their lips crash, but Seungcheol swallows it, pressing himself more against the blond. They push and pull, Seungcheol gently nipping on Jeonghan’s bottom lip, until he coaxes him to deepen the kiss. 

Warm, Jeonghan tastes like strawberry and Seungcheol can’t get enough. 

This is everything he's ever wanted. 

As soon as Jeonghan pulls away to get some air, Seungcheol has claimed his lips again, all but devouring the blond’s mouth. 

Wandering hands travel all the way down to Seungcheol’s chest and pull at his t-shirt, pressing him as close as possible. His thigh mistakenly presses against Jeonghan, and he _moans_ , loud, unrestrained, his body arching. 

_Fuck_ , he looks so beautiful like this. 

There’s pressure against his scalp and Seungcheol notices that it’s Jeonghan’s hand carding through his hair, pushing him as close as possible, even though his eyes are closed. 

He looks blissed out already. 

Seungcheol feels the same. 

“Look at me,” Seungcheol orders, pleads, urges. 

As soon as Jeonghan’s eyes open, Seungcheol leans down to kiss him one more time, the temperature of the room escalating by every second. 

Pain flares on his back as Jeonghan’s ranks his fingers through his shirt and Seungcheol sucks on Jeonghan’s lower lip, pulling back to latch on his neck instead. 

Jeonghan lets out a wounded noise, chasing Seungcheol’s lips, but Seungcheol bits on his skin, causing Jeonghan to thrust up his hips, arching his back again. 

When Seungcheol pulls back again, he’s panting.

Both of them are. 

He just _looks_ at him, he can’t believe this is real. 

Under the force of Seungcheol’s gaze, Jeonghan’s breath stutters, he’s _trembling_ beneath him, he's so nervous, so pliant, _so_ sensitive against Seungcheol’s touch. 

“Is this real?” Jeonghan whispers weakly, apparently thinking the same thing. 

Everything happened so quickly, so abruptly, yet too slow for real life purposes. 

“I think so.” Seungcheol whispers, because he feels the same. He can’t help but smile at how debauched the blond already looks, his cheeks burning, his lips kiss-bitten, his clothes and hair unkempt. 

Seungcheol must look the same.

He _feels_ the same. 

They’re floating. 

Someone will pinch his arm and soon Seungcheol will realize that this isn’t true. 

But for now?

For now Seungcheol will enjoy this as it is. 

“You don’t have to be nervous, you know?” Seungcheol whispers, caressing Jeonghan’s cheekbones gently. His skin is so soft, and Jeonghan closes his eyes again, leaning into the contact. Seungcheol's heart skips a beat at the sight. “It’s only me.” 

Truth is, Seungcheol is also nervous.

He is. 

And Jeonghan must tell because this time, the blond places a hand against the back of Seungcheol’s neck and pulls him in, kissing him again. 

It’s all the reassurance he needs. 

They both like each other.

They both _want_ each other. 

Seungcheol is breathless as they part, and he rests his forehead against Jeonghan’s for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts. 

He should pull back.

This is too much.

It’s _so_ good though. 

How can Seungcheol ever resist?

“Jeonghan,” Seungcheol asks, against all of his better judgement. He’s aware of the warm press of Jeonghan against his thigh, and he shifts a little, to give Jeonghan more space. “Do you want me to?” 

Jeonghan gasps a little, embarrassed (no need, Seungcheol’s hard too), but there’s so much desire on his eyes too, Seungcheol hasn’t even touched him, but he’s already oversensitive, cheeks burning and his hair sticking to his forehead. 

He looks _gorgeous_. 

“This is-I never-” Jeonghan tries, arching his back although Seungcheol hasn’t even _moved_. He looks troubled, and Seungcheol understands why, but at the same time he’s so tired of thinking.

He can’t think anymore. 

If Jeonghan says yes, then- 

“I never do this,” Jeonghan’s voice turns small, shy, and Seungcheol understands what he means, he knows Jeonghan doesn’t sleep around, but this isn’t that, is it? 

This is… different. 

At least that’s what Seungcheol would like to think.

“I know,” Seungcheol smiles down at him, pressing a hand against his cheek, caressing his skin again. 

He doesn't want to pressure him.

Maybe he did read the situation wrong. 

But he still waits. 

After a few seconds, Jeonghan gulps, giving him a small nod. 

Okay.

Jeonghan wants this. 

“It's okay.” Seungcheol assures him and he can see the second Jeonghan fully gives in, “I got you.” 

Then Seungcheol leans down to kiss him again. 

***

Seungcheol nuzzles Jeonghan’s shoulder, pressing absent kisses on the exposed skin. 

Warm. 

Content. 

Jeonghan’s been caressing his back up and down for a while now. 

They’re still on the couch, and without their shirts on, Jeonghan would definitely be cold if it weren’t for Seungcheol on top of him. 

It’s relaxing.

It’s so easy when it’s the two of them, and there’s no wedding and expectations involved. 

Suddenly Seungcheol’s caresses stop and Jeonghan smiles, endeared. 

He’s fallen asleep. 

Seungcheol’s breathing is deep and calm, his eyelashes framing his face nicely. 

He’s so handsome. 

Jeonghan loves the way Seungcheol shuffles closer, whenever he feels that Jeonghan has stopped caressing him. 

Clingy. 

“You keep falling asleep on me.” Jeonghan whines, after a few minutes of admiring how _cute_ asleep Seungcheol looks. 

“I’m sorry,” Seungcheol whispers, only half awake, as he cuddles closer, seeking Jeonghan’s warmth. 

The current position must be uncomfortable, but Jeonghan doesn’t comment on it, just presses kisses against whatever part of Seungcheol he can reach. 

“It’s so late.” Jeonghan murmurs airily and Seungcheol reaches out to rub the sleep from his eyes. 

Suddenly he thinks of his parents. 

How mad they were. 

How they yelled at him and he yelled back and- 

_Ugh_. 

He buries his head even more against Jeonghan’s skin, nuzzling his tummy until Jeonghan squirms away, _stop, it tickles!_

Seungcheol just smiles against his skin. 

He wishes… 

Seungcheol wishes he could stay here forever. 

Just… on Jeonghan’s arms, receiving his affection.

“I should… probably leave then?” 

It must be like four am, and Seungcheol would rather stay, but he doesn’t want to assume and fuck up. 

“Actually…” Jeonghan takes a deep breath, Seungcheol feels it against his cheek. “Can you stay?” 

Seungcheol parts his lips, a blush creeping on his face and neck (as if they hadn’t just done _that_ ), but Jeonghan laughs, quick to reassure. 

“To sleep… I’d…” Jeonghan’s hand comes back to Seungcheol’s shoulder, playing with the hair at the back of his neck. Seungcheol _melts_ , wrapping his arms tight around him. “I’d really like you to stay.” 

Seungcheol second guesses.

Just for a second. 

That they might have started too quick, definitely on the wrong foot, yet… yet he likes to think they’d work.

He feels so good, so _right_ when they’re together. 

“Then I’ll stay.” Seungcheol says, pressing another kiss against Jeonghan’s tummy. 

There’s no place he’d rather be than here. 

He has never felt this comfortable before. 

He thinks he might belong on Jeonghan’s arms. 

Is this what happiness feels like? 

“Are you okay?” Jeonghan asks, feeling wetness against his stomach, how Seungcheol has started shaking. 

As he’s about to ask him again though, Seungcheol looks up himself, tears running down his cheeks. 

Seungcheol feels a sudden surge of emotion, a wave of affection for Jeonghan and he smiles at him, eyes stinging when he reaches out to cup his cheek. 

Wow. 

Jeonghan must be the most beautiful, perfect human being he’s ever seen, brows furrowing in worry, parted lips, flushed cheeks, those _eyes_. 

Perhaps Seungcheol already loves him. 

“Never been better.” 


End file.
